As my trip comes to a close, I've been finding myself rather reflective this past week. This has been an incredible trip with some of the most intense highs I have ever experienced, and of course, some lows. I went on this trip by myself because I couldn't find a travel buddy who wanted to go for the same amount of time, same budget, countries, etc, and I was sick of waiting to do something I had always wanted to do. But I'm not going to lie -there were definitely some knots in my stomach when I left! Travelling alone, I was unsure of what I would experience, where I would go, and who I would meet. As these four months now draw to a close I have to say though, solo travel is not NEARLY as intimidating, and the world not nearly as big and scary as one might believe. Despite any downsides of solo travel and any lonely days or inconveniences I have had: I would do it again in a heartbeat.
So here you have it -just a few thoughts that have been bouncing around my head this past week.
Solo travel....
- Forces you to learn to rely on yourself in a way that you never have before. It forces you to always think of your own safety first, whether that means always knowing where your valuables are, or just considering how you will get home from a night out if no-one wants to leave at the same time. No matter how awesome new people you meet are, you just can't put your full faith in them when you've just met. I have found that learning to rely on yourself and doing it successfully makes me feel empowered and strong, and it makes me feel like there isn't really anything that I can't do.
- It allows you to be flexible, to change your plans at a moment's notice, and to have experiences that you would have never had otherwise. If I hadn't been travelling solo, I never would have bought a motorcycles with a friend I met travelling, or changed my plans to stay an extra long amount of time in Koh Tao to get my Open Water and my Advanced diving certifications. I would never would have been able to reunite so frequently with or change my plans almost daily to actually travel with so many people I met along the way. It seems scary to travel alone, but it is surprising how many other solo travellers are out there, and how like minded so many of them are. This is actually probably my most favourite part of solo travel -you meet so many other travellers all the time, that very rarely are you ever actually "solo".
- You meet people with the most fascinating stories. You meet people who couldn't be more different from you in how they've grown up. You meet people that you feel like you've already known all your life. Travel is the number one way (I think) of meeting interesting people with even more interesting stories. From the Urologist working on patenting new surgical techniques to the Thai bartender with 3 children at 23 to the semi-pro soccer player, to the investment banker who quit his job to become a dive instructor, to the American student who became fluent in Bahasa Indonesian in only 3 months, to the local artist who has been exhibiting worldwide and is excited about that -travelling solo really gets you out there and allows you to meet people that you likely wouldn't meet if you were only travelling with a group.
- A downside: having to re-explain your story to every new person you meet. Occasionally you can feel jaded, ie: "Why do I even bother talking to this person, when in 20min from now I will never see them again?". Sometimes it is hard to force yourself to care about making those first few steps to get to know someone when you meet so many people in a day, and when you know that many you will not see again (This of course, all depends on the day and the circumstances).
- It forces yourself to learn to like yourself, as you'll be the one constant source throughout your trip. In these past four months I have met some of the most incredible people and honestly, there have been very few days that I've actually travelled alone. However, there have been days where I have only met honeymooning couples, or there has been a complete lack of foreigners/people who speak English, or I have met someone who I just don't really click with and I just have to make the best of it. I think learning to enjoy your own company is an important aspect to learn in general, but especially so while travelling solo. Although, that being said, I am still an extrovert and do still get antsy if I go a day or two on my own without meeting anyone!
- This one may seem a bit obvious, but I've learned that if you are out somewhere and you just aren't feeling the vibe or enjoying yourself, you are allowed to leave! It's pretty empowering to realize that you don't have any pressure to be any type of person. If you're at a party but you're not really enjoying yourself, and would rather go home, that is ok. Do what makes you happy. Most people you are around have just met you anyways, and there are no preconceptions as to what kind of a person you are. You get to make your own choices about what you enjoy, and then just simply do what you want to do.
- You get over eating alone at a restaurant awfully quick. Plus side: Your opinion is the only one that matters when you choose the restaurant. You would be surprised at how many other people you may find there alone -it's really not a big deal. Eat at the bar, and you've almost got guaranteed conversation!
- You learn to adapt, to be laid back, and to be ok if things don't exactly go to plan. This of course is not only part of solo travel -it's probably part of backpacking or travelling in general -but it certainly has been true for solo travel as well. Bus leaves 5hrs after it's scheduled? Kind of annoying, but you'll get there eventually. Restaurant misunderstands you because of a lack of english, and sends you something completely random? Well, who said you couldn't eat fried bananas for dinner instead of noodles? (This happened last night.)
- It allows you to see how richly blessed you are in general. Sometimes I think about the fact that I came from a country in which women are considered equal and it isn't that unusual for a woman to travel alone. Or, I think about the fact that I have been encouraged by my parents to go to school in something in which I am interested in, and will (hopefully) have a profitable and fulfilling career -something that is not true for much of the world. Or, I think about the fact that I have been able to work at a job that has allowed me to save, and that has paid me enough that saving for travel is a reasonable thing to do. There is no pressure for me to settle down and have children at a very young age, or to work in the family business, and being able to actually think about leisure and what makes me feel fulfilled in life is something that I actually have time for. I don't mean to be saying that people who come from poor or rural areas in many parts of the world don't feel happy -far from it! Many have much closer family and community connections than the average westerner, and some of the problems that exist in the west -like being overstressed, or overworked, or having no time for friends and family because of too much work -don't exist here in the same way. However, travel has still made me feel so incredibly grateful for the life that I have been born into.
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